| April Topic: Fix You |
[Apr. 30th, 2007|02:27 am] |
He wanted to save her, do anything for her that would make her crawl out of the darkness that she was in. It was odd for him though, considering the darkness was what he was stuck in, he was never able to get out of it. Pushed all the way back until it consumed him from the inside out, bringing the darkness onto others in his path, even though there was a spot of light in him, the itchy feeling in the back of his throat that nagged at him day in and day out. The soul that would creep up every now and then, showing him that there was a grain of good somewhere tucked inside. He ignored it. Spike knew it was back there, but what good did it do? Something that he wanted so long for her was just an annoying reminder of what he didn’t have and who he wasn’t.
Now that Buffy was gone, living her life of normalcy, he was on his own, dragging his darkness around wherever he went. His shortcomings only brought him down more so he embraced the fact that he wasn’t like him, not like Angel, not like Buffy. He was a monster. He killed and maimed, cheated and he liked it. Took pride in it and while he was still trying to save her, he gave into the temptation of what life could be like, the life he could have with Sophia. It wasn’t love and fluffy puppies like he wanted with Buffy and even with Buffy, it wasn’t that, but with Sophia, she knew his darkness, she knew all of the things that were rolling around in his head, the things he wanted to say and do, but didn’t because of that nagging soul that she could smell so clear on him and God, did she hate that.
Spike searched for what seemed like a day compared to the forever that he lived in to save Faith. Take her back and make her his, but that wasn’t going to happen. It seemed she was already saved in a way that he couldn’t help her and along the way, Sophia was going to fix him too.
Make him into the monster he once was and he didn’t give a fuck. He wanted it and he waited. He showed her the world once and now she was going to introduce it to him in the colors that he hadn’t seen before and some way and some how she was going to suck that soul right out of him and then there’d be hell to pay. |
|
|
| Eclectic Muses Topic for March, "Home." |
[Mar. 29th, 2007|09:33 pm] |
//Locked from Angel.//
It took forever to find her, but there she was, under our noses the whole soddin’ time. Never once did I think that Sophia would be back and never once did I think that she’d stick around for long. Maybe it was only a matter of time for the tart to come back, stirrin’ up a mixin’ pot of garbage and takin’ what was hers. My old teachings finally sunk in it seemed, only this time, she used them against me. Got me back she did, what with me always bein’ with Dru and leavin’ her behind. Bad Daddy I was, but now it was all changed. She thought she was in charge, I was only bidin’ my time, waitin’ for my moment. Maybe I’d make her scream for fun or I’d just get it over with – just for fun. Not that I didn’t mind sharin’. Connor an’ I had been sharin’ Faith and sharin’ eachother for months now. Goin’ from town to town, stealin’ and boozin’ and everything else that we could do to pass the time, all of this only to get as far as possible from LA without actually bein’ far from it. Odd that is, don’t’ much know why we didn’t just leave this bloody continent. Nothin’ but misfortune and pointin’ fingers and over there, Angel wouldn’t be around, sniffin’ down our scent and kickin’ us down when we were already as far in the ground as we could go.
LA wasn’t our home anymore.
I watch her closely, first my concern was with Faith, but now, Faith was the last one my mind. It was all about Sophia, as it should have been decades ago. I could see part of myself in her, hell, I could see Angelus in her as well, makin’ every part of my body ache, my soul wantin’ to betray me as it has been for months. In the back of my head, I know this isn’t where we needed to be, but this was where I wanted to be. With them. There was no turnin’ back and Sophia could have Faith all she wanted, s’long as I had her. Funny it is, the one thing you push away is the one thing you ache for. This was my home now, with her, with them.
Causin’ pain, earnin’ pain and makin’ the world burn. |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif?v=88.8) eclecticmuses Topic Feb. "Flame" |
[Feb. 28th, 2007|11:16 pm] |
Flame. Yeah, I don’t much like flame. Flame can burn me up; turn me to dust and what not. Caught on fire more than a couple of times, but only one had some spot of significance to it. The night Sunnydale and everything in it went to hell, ‘cludin’ me was the night that I thought I really mattered. Went down with the soddin’ town, bein’ a champion. Bein’ what she wanted and now that I’m back, guess it didn’t much matter. None of it matters anymore to be honest because quite frankly, I don’t care. Alright, so that may be a tiny fib of sorts, but still, feels like it was for nothin’. Feels like now it was an easy way out for everyone. ‘Oh, just give Spike the tacky ole necklace and let him feel like he stood for somethin’.’ Right. When they think of a champion, they always go and think of that broodin’ Poof with the floppy hair. Wonder why that is? He only does it because he doesn’t have much else to do. He got stuck with a soul, he didn’t want it. It was a punishment and they all think it’s some bit of a good thing that he saves puppies and chases rainbows. Okay, so I might not save puppies and chase rainbows, but I CHOSE it. I wanted to be better, but he gets all the credit. Either way, while it was the flame that burned me up to save them, I’m sure I wouldn’t get so much as a thank you. All I got were empty words to send me on my merry way for all of my changin’ that didn’t do much of any good.
Muse: Spike Fandom: Buffy/Angel Words: 285 |
|
|
